DioramaWatch.com

click on the image to see the hi-res version

I’ve always been told that Midwesterners have a great affection for their State fairs. We have our own 3rd rate fair out here, where we celebrate the bounty of New England with a baked Maine potato and the nose-clogging mix of humid, earthy scents wafting down from the livestock area. Somehow, the Eastern States Exposition always seems to pale in comparison to the pictures I’ve seen of fairs in places like Iowa or Minnesota. I wondered if I was missing out.

Then, Drew sent me this picture, and suddenly I didn’t feel so bad about our rag-tag mix of tempura vendors and sheep dung.

Sure, we may not have a ferris wheel, but if we did, I bet we’d at least have some modicum of safety built in.  Look at that spinning lawsuit! No restraining bar, no seatbelts…I’m pretty sure the little boy at the top is recoiling in horror as his life flashes before him. The scariest part is, if you somehow manage to survive without falling off, John Wayne Gacy awaits at the exit.

Despite being horrified at the obvious lack of carnival ride safety inspections (or even safety requirements) in Wisconsin, what disappoints me most is the livestock.  If I’m to believe the  stereotypes, Midwesterners spend the majority of their tender youth at 4H club meetings, learning the finer points of animal husbandry.  Well folks, sad to say but I think Gregor Mendel would facepalm at the genetic misfits on display here.  If I were forced to award the blue ribbon for best bovine in this group, it would go to the woman standing on the right.  At least her blanc-et-noir polka dots kind of resemble a Holstein.

It’s sad to have to admit it, but it certainly would seem that my romantic notions of great Midwestern fairs miss the mark of reality by a fair margin.  At least this came to light now, before I found myself high above the fairgrounds, riding a ferris wheel that tries its’ damndest to kill you.

Happy Birthday America!

Sadly, Diorama Lady didn’t change anything from last year’s Fourth of July Diorama. Still, this installment is always one of her best, and I always enjoy the trans-gender Uncle Sam.

With this [late] post, we say Happy Anniversary to Dioramawatch.com! If you look back at last year’s Father’s Day Diorama, you will see that Dad has continued to not pay attention to the road, and is likely to run over the gardener in front of him.

2009 brings both gender’s to the Father’s Day Diorama (last year it was two girls). Dad still hasn’t replaced the missing front rim on his convertible mercedes – one of the kids should have got him one as a father’s day present, instead of getting him these useless flowers.

Oh well, at least his son is prepared to take him home in the wheel barrow.

Mother's Day Diorama

You may notice some familiar elements in this diorama   …that is because they are found in the header image of Dioramawatch.com, from last year’s Mother’s Day Diorama / not chronicled in this site. Looks like she just flipped the boy and girl’s positions, but I give her points for at least mixing it up.

Happy Mother’s Day to all the Moms!

Easter Diorama

Run for your lives! Monster bunnies are throwing bowling ball sized eggs at helpless Chicks!

Update: While I mentioned to some that I didn’t think this was her best work, I agree with the commenter below that she may be broaching the Furry lifestyle.

St Patrick's Day Diorama

If I am viewing this diorama correctly, a Hasidic Leprechaun has chanced upon a pot of gold. The girl in the green Dr. Seuss hat, (apparently returning from a rave), is engaging him in conversation, in hopes of distracting him and taking the gold.

Meanwhile HUGE shamrock leaves are falling everwhere. It’s gotta be pretty intense for rave-girl, who’s no doubt messed up on “E”. But it definitely says “Happy St. Patrick’s Day!“.

Valentine's Day Diorama

With this Valentine’s Day diorama, I think the Diorama Lady has shifted from simply portraying a holiday theme to making a political statement.  We are presented with only two figures in this tableaux of love and romance, and I’m pretty sure they’re both female.  Rather than embracing each other, they appear anxious and are separated by a giant heart, as if the very nature of their love keeps them separate.  It’s quite obvious, to me anyway, that the artist is clearly showing her opposition to one of the past election’s most controversial topics:  California’s Proposition 8.  That’s right, the Diorama Lady has tackled the complex subject of same sex marriage.  Of course, it’s entirely possible that the figure on the right with the page-boy haircut is not a butch lesbian, but is  in fact Clay Aiken.

Oh, and don’t you just want to grab a big, red Sharpie and put an apostrophe in “VALENTINES” for her?

-Mike Lavoie

No Diorama tops the Christmas Diorama.

This is the one we all look forward to: The Christmas Diorama. And man oh man, there is so much diorama goodness in this one, I hope I don’t miss any of it.

LEFT TO RIGHT

The 2008 Christmas Diorama begins with what I am surmising to be Tim Cratchit in some type of Old-World birthing device; or possibly a stretcher – Bob/his dad possibly paused to take in this scene and set him down.

What’s up with the Ghost – Snowman? Or is it an incognito Stay-Puff Marshmallow Man? Below him is two carolers – the female appears to be using her candles as nunchuks. Don’t mess with that Chick.

Not really sure why there are three Santas…

The one on the left seems harmless enough.
The one reading the Christmas list looks like he is really scared of the Zombie-Kelly Osbourne Caroler Next to him, and the Knievel Claus on the roof seems to be ready to make it all the way across Snake Canyon. Hope he is strapped in!

The Staff at Dioramawatch wishes each of you a Merry Christmas.

That’s Right. We said it.

Thanksgiving Diorama

This year, we are thankful that gas has dropped to around $2 a gallon, and that most of us still have a roof over our heads. Especially Diorama Lady; who continues to delight, with the Thanksgiving Diorama.

If we are to consider the scale in this moment captured in dolls & decorations to be relative – than we have got one big-ass turkey to cook this year. It may require a spit.

Its nice to see the tree from Fall, Baseball, and Wiffle Football being reused, as well as the pumpkins from Halloween. The tablecloth appears to be a bit bland, but then, the pilgrims probably didnt get theirs from
Pottery Barn either.

Halloween Costume Diorama

I was going to wait until I took a better picture of this, but who knows when I would get a chance to take one, so here is the Halloween Costume Diorama. Everything is actually pretty normal (as far as making a diorama in your living room window goes), but can someone figure out what it says on the red devil’s costume? And why does he have the head of a lion?